Rebels and Heartbreaks: A Katniss Train of Thought
by autumnsky66
Summary: A little oneshot I threw together about Katniss thinking about her life. Rated T because that is how the books should be rated. *SPOILER ALERT* Don't read unless you have read Mockinjay! **I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy** Read and Review! :


**Author's Note: Hello once again fanfictioners! If you read my profile it explains why I have not updated for so long, and I have so much going on in my life right now. I know it is Christmas Eve, and some of you are probably wondering why I am writing instead of spending time with family. Well, never to fear, as soon as this story is posted I promise I will get off the computer and spend time with my relatives. I hope everyone has a glorious holiday season, and a happy new year!**

**Alrighty then, on to the story. I have currently fallen into a sort of Hunger Games "obsession" and am currently reading Mockingjay for the first time. This little oneshot takes place when the residents of District thirteen are in the underground bunker before the bombing. Katniss is about to fall asleep in her little bunk when she begins thinking about her life, and this is what some would call a "train of thought" segment of her life. As always, please read and review!**

**Enjoy,**

**Autumnsky66! ^_^**

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><p>I lean back in bed, exhausted. Today's schedule has been on the rather boring side, and I just want at least one good night's rest before I go back into the line of duty as the Mockingjay. With all the thoughts running through my head, it might not be possible. I am so confused, and I am not sure if it is from the concussion, or from something else. My emotions are running at an all-time high, and I don't even know if anyone really cares.<p>

Gale was always there for me before any of this mess started. It seems like ever since I came back from the 74th Hunger Games he's been so distant. I'm not sure if he even knows if the romance with Peeta was real or not. I don't even know myself. Oh Peeta, what has he gotten himself into. By saving us from the bombs, he put his own life at stake. He could be dead, for all we know.

It seems like everyone around me doesn't care about anything or anyone, except for the revolution. I am starting to have doubts if any of this was even worth it. Our lives were better before any of this shit started. The only care we had in this world was finding food, and staying healthy. For all we know, we might not even live to see another sunrise. Maybe Peeta was right. Maybe all of this fighting for freedom isn't worth the cost. It seems like everyone is being forced to choose between their freedom and their lives.

Way back before I even thought about defying the Capitol, life was so much easier. We could just go about our business, not worrying about vicious Peacekeepers, or hunting. Everything is different now. We have to worry about bombs, Peeta, Peacekeepers who almost killed Gale, and my personal favorite-President Snow.

I close my eyes and try not to think about the rebellion. I am the Mockingjay now, and if I put one toe out of line, Peeta and the other tributes are as good as dead.

As the night goes on, I think about Peeta and Gale: two of my best friends who I think I may love. It is heart-breaking to think that one day I may have to choose one or the other. Gale has been my closest friend ever since our fathers died, but he turned his back on me when he thought that I had fallen in love with Peeta. Peeta will do anything to keep me alive, even if it costs him his own life, but he should know that if he died, I would never be able to live with myself. But he went out of his way to ignore me when the cameras went away, when he thought that all of the love we had shared was just for show. I am not even sure if some of it was true or not. Either way I turn, I hurt someone, and I cannot bear to lose either of my best friends in the world. Haymitch, I am sure, would want me to stay with Peeta, but would any of it be the same as when we were in the arena? I doubt that whoever I chose will ever be truly happy, but I love both of them so much.

If only life was more simple. Those are days the citizens of Panem can only dream of. I hope their dreams have a brighter future than mine. And may the odds be _ever _in their favor.

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><p><strong>Well..I hope you enjoyed it! Just a quick note-I have made a poll on who Katniss should be with in the Hunger Games. Yes, I know she does end up with Peeta, but I want to know your opinion! Who would be best for Katniss? Leave a comment or check out the poll on my profile. Also, check out my other story for Percy Jackson! Thanks!<strong>

**Sincerely,**

**Autumnsky66**


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